The Family of...3

[KrJ]

George felt so sorry for Daisy. He felt so guilty that he couldn't act like he would've done normally if Nicholas hadn't died. He couldn't act truly happy around her and it wasn't her fault. Bue he couldn't help it. He had lost his first son.
He did try to act happy around her, not that she could understand being only a few months old. It was really hard, though. He did love her to bits! But he was also so upset about Nick.

He held Jorja's hand tightly with one of his hands, and carried Daisy in a carry-cot with the other. They entered their aparment.

"We're a family.." he thought to himself "..of 3"
George was deep in thought throughout the whole car-ride home.
"There's nothing wrong with a family of 3. But....Nicky." he said to himself over and over again. He was about to start crying again.
"Daisy" he said to himself. His beautiful daughter always cheered him up when he felt down.

"It's gonna be fine, Jorj." he reassured Jorja, knowing what she was most likely thinking.

[Jorja]

Jorja didn't reply. She hadn't spoken or eaten since Nicky had died. She couldn't bring herself to play with Daisy either. Just looking at the twin that had survived broke her heart. But her mother's lack of attention didn't seem to affect the baby - she only ever wanted her daddy anyway. That made it even harder for Jorja. She blamed herself for Nicky's death, and no matter what anyone said, she'd always feel that guilt.
It was the day they were bringing their baby home, it was meant to be a happy day, but she didn't know if she'd ever feel truly happy again. Letting go of George's hand she just headed straight for the bedroom, dropping onto the bed and curling up. She couldn't feel anything. All the pain of what had happened had made her completely numb. Staring into space, she couldn't cry anymore. She had no tears left to cry.

[KrJ]

George was in one of those moments where he didn't really know what to do. He could go and see if Jorja was okay? He hated seeing her like this. But he didn't want to leave Daisy alone. Not that she would notice, but this was her first time in a new home. It was a special time, even if she didn't realise it. She didn't deserve to be ignored.
So, he could stay with Daisy? But he didn't want to leave Jorja alone and make her think he didn't care because he did. So much.
So he could take Daisy with him while he went to see Jorja? But he didn't want Daisy seeing her Mother upset, even if she was too young to understand what was going on anyway.


George didn't like being put in this awful position. In a way, he was quite angry with Jorja, though he never showed it. He actually denied it himself. He just thought that it wasn't fair that he was going through the same pain she was, but he was still left to look after Daisy and cope with it all. And she was angry that Daisy always went to him - but, so far, he was the only parent Daisy really knows she had. He felt Jorja didn't really care. He understood what she was going through, though. He knew, because he was going through exactly the same thing.

He picked Daisy up out of her carry-cot.
"This is your home, gorgeous" he said to her and smiled, cradling her in his arms. She was just starring up at him with her amazing, big eyes. Deep down, George was happy. Obviously not about Nick, but he had the perfect girlfriend and the perfect daughter. He knew that, deep down, Jorja was happy to. He hoped.
"You're a beautiful little girl, aren't ya?" he said to Daisy, in the enthusiastic voice all adults used when talking to babies.

"You coming in, Jorja?" he shouted to their bedroom with hope.
"You can spend some time with Daisy while I make you a cup of coffee. I'm sure Daisy'll love that, babe" he suggested, waiting anxiously for a positive answer..

[Jorja]

Again, Jorja didn't reply. She didn't even acknowledge his words, staring at the wall. Tears she didn't think she could cry were filling her eyes but they never spilled over. She didn't want to spend time with Daisy, she didn't want to anything except lie here and sleep...and never wake up. She just wanted Nicky back. She couldn't look at Daisy without seeing Nicky's eyes looking back at her. And that hurt her more then anything else. She loved George, and she loved Daisy, she was just scared that if she loved them completely like she had Nicky, that something would happen to them. After all, she blamed herself for Nicky's death.

[KrJ]

((she loves Nicky more than Daisy? ))

[Jorja]

((lol, that came out wrong. What I mean is she loved em both equally but she's, well, she's kinda scared of loving Daisy now cos she thinks that if she does, Daisy'll be hurt or die or something))

[KrJ]

((oooooh right getcha))

George walked into their bedroom to Jorja, still cradling Daisy.
"Honey, we have a daughter. I beautiful daughter" he wasn't saying this in a harsh way, he was just trying to get her to see sense.
"You should be thankful for that. Ignoring her isn't going to help you get over all this. Please, honey. Daisy loves you. You're her mommy! You don't want her growing up not knowing who her mother is do you?"
He really didn't mean it as if he was getting angry with her. He just wanted her to show her love for Daisy.

[Jorja]

Jorja stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity, when in reality it was merely minutes. Finally, she turned to look at George. She looked so drawn and defeated, raw pain and emptiness in her honey brown eyes, filled with tears. Slowly, she sat up on the bed with her back to George and Daisy, trying to compose herself a little, rubbing her forehead to ease the stinging ache that was beginning to form there. After a moment she stood up shakily, turning back to look at George. Her voice came out a strained, cracked sound.
"I can't do this George...I just...can't."
She was terrified of loving Daisy, terrified of being her mother. Because if something happened to her, she would hold herself responsible. And she didn't want that. She wasn't ready to be a mom now...not after her twins had been so brutally forced into the world and then her baby boy mercilessly taken. She didn't want to end up with her daughter resenting her, so if she didn;t remeber her, that would make it easier on both of them. It was her logic - and she was so torn up she couldn't think straight.
Walking on legs that felt as thought they were made of Jell-o, she headed toward the door. She wanted to be alone. Well, she did and she didn't. She knew if she was alone that she'd just drown in too many thoughts but if she was with George and Daisy, she'd be plunged into trying to move on and she wasn't ready for that.

[KrJ]

Daisy, who was now drifting off to sleep, was placed in the cot that George had brought as soon as Jorja's pregnancy was announced and George walked after Jorja towards the door.

"Jorj. What do you mean?" George felt so much sympathy for her, but felt so much anger as well. He still wasn't going to show it as much as he felt, though.
"You can't just leave!" he stated, holding her arm and turning her around to face him.
"Please. Don't do this." he pleaded, his eyes tearing up.

[Jorja]

"This is all....it's too much. I know I have the responsibility of a daughter now but...she doesn't need me, she doesn't want me George."
She looked up at him, unable to stop bitter tears spilling over.
"She'd probably be better off if she didn't know me."
Turning away from him she tried to fight back her tears, fratically brushing them away and sniffling.
"I....I love you, and her. If anything ever happened to either of you, I don't think I'd get through it....."
She couldn't explain her feelings in words.